Expat Journal

Leaving one's own country is selfish and cowardly.

"If you leave, you're selfish." "The country has invested in you, now you must give back.

"It takes more courage to stay than to leave."

How many times have you heard that?

According to ISTAT, in 2024, over 93,000 young Italians between the ages of 18 and 39 moved their residence abroad. That's an increase of 107.2% compared to 2014. In reality, many of them plan to return to Italy in the short or medium term.

What do I feel when I hear those statements? Anger.

I don’t like nationalism. When a sense of belonging becomes a chain rather than a part of one's identity. When it’s used as a shield to justify all sorts of wrongdoings. When it tries to dictate who you should be — it's like a toxic parent: it “loves” you only if you act and think the way it wants.

We are a people of explorers. I imagine Marco Polo’s critics calling him selfish for leaving. If he had stayed in Venice, maybe today we’d still believe the world ends at the Pillars of Hercules. Or perhaps someone else would have developed cartography — but it wouldn't have been us.

Each of us should be free to grow in the way and place that feels most right, without carrying the burden of others’ judgment.

We often talk about freedom of expression, about being ourselves — yet statements like those are really just attempts to limit our individual freedom.

Let’s look at it from a business perspective.

You start working at 24 or 25, after university, in a company that trains you and lets you gain experience. They pay you the legal minimum. The environment isn’t particularly healthy or motivating. You interview with another company. They offer better pay, a more “dynamic” environment, more opportunities to learn, and so on. What do you do? Turn it down?

"So you want to be free to do whatever you want, but not face the consequences?"

"Exactly."

"But that's a privilege only one person in the world has."

"Who? The president?"

"A child." *

Choosing comes with a heavy responsibility: you have to face the consequences.

When standing at a crossroads or starting a new life project, you may feel a whirlwind of emotions.

Fear is the biggest.

Fear of judgment, fear of making a huge mistake, fear of regret, fear of leaving what’s familiar. But also fear of missing out, fear of failure, fear of loneliness, fear of not being able to call any place home, fear of being rejected — because you’re no longer “truly Italian” but not fully local either.

So no, it’s not cowardly.

“When we choose courage, we sign up for falls and failures. But it's a choice I make every day.”— Brené Brown

Taking responsibility for your own happiness — with no guarantees, no applause, no approval from the State, a parent, or your country — is an act of courage. And, first of all, of self-love.

* I heard that line in a movie, but I couldn't find which one!

Source: “Italian emigration: nearly one in ten is a resident abroad” — L'Eurispes