CWTCH - the art of hugging

Chiara Marturano
Apr 24, 2023
3 min read

In my wanderings, I came across this Welsh word with an improbable pronunciation. Google translates it as a hug but it has a deeper meaning that moved me very much:

A hug from someone who shows us their love and in which we can feel safe, secure, and protected.

I found it beautiful.

How many times does it happen or has it happened to hug or to be hugged in this way?

It usually happens as children (when we are lucky enough to grow up in a family, with parents or loved ones who love us and want to protect us). Sometimes, if this kind of hug is missing, we try to give ourselves this kind of safe hug. It is an embrace in which we can be ourselves, welcome the other for what he is, an embrace without prejudice, sincere, I welcome your frailties. During the Covid emergency, the greatest desire for almost 1 in 3 Italians (32%) was to be able to embrace their loved ones. Alda Merini wrote: "There is a place in the world where the heart beats fast, where you remain breathless for how much emotion you feel; where time stops and you are no longer old. That place is in your arms where the heart never gets old, while the mind never stops dreaming. "

Psychologist Arturo Torres has classified 8 types of hugs, complete with connected movements and each with a different meaning.

The classic hug, which involves using both arms to embrace the other person, touching heads, lasting more than two seconds, and indicating intimacy.
The dance hug, romantic, affectionate, where one person holds the other's hands behind their neck while the other person embraces their waist.
The hug with eye contact, where not only is there physical closeness, but also eye contact. This indicates a high level of involvement, where you look into each other's eyes. Wow!
The hug between colleagues, teammates, or coworkers. It is less physically involving, heads may not touch, and there may be pats on the back. It's a way to connect with others and share an emotion, perhaps related to a common event.
The asymmetric hug, where one person is at a different height than the other, such as one standing and the other sitting. It indicates a desire for intimacy and involvement.
The sideways hug, where usually one person hugs the other, perhaps with only one arm, to comfort them. It means closeness and support.
The distant hug, emotionally and physically, indicates the presence of unsaid words and conflicts.
The violent hug, lacking reciprocity, with negative emotions at play (perhaps given during an argument).

The hug, in general, makes us feel positive emotions, thanks to the oxytocin which reduces heartbeat and blood pressure. Sometimes, with my children, especially the older one, when she gets angry or is particularly frustrated, the hug works soft, welcoming that makes her feel in a safe, protected place. Before I worked on myself, letting myself go into a hug like that was science fiction. Then some knots melted and I permitted myself to trust someone.

Try to think about how many people you can have a cwtch with. Why precisely with them? What relationship is there?

In your arms, Alda Merini.

There is a place in the world

where the heart beats strongly,

where you are left breathless,

no matter how much emotion you feel,

where time stands still

and you no longer age;

that place is in your arms

where the heart does not age,

while the mind never stops dreaming...

From there I cannot escape